There are many books on parenting out there, but if you were going to buy just one, Family Driven Faith by Voddie Baucham Jr. is certainly one that Christian parents should consider getting. You may not agree with everything Baucham says but it will certainly challenge you to take seriously God’s call to do what you can with His help to raise children who walk with God. Below I have written a summary of what the book is about and engaged a little with the bits I disagreed with.
In the opening chapter of ‘Family Driven Faith’ Baucham assesses the current situation, which is that so-called Christian children are walking away from the faith when they reach adulthood, and asking why that is. The answer given is that most of these so-called Christian children are not Christians, and that many Christian parents have yet to realise that their primary goal in parenting is their children’s walk with the Lord. Baucham then calls Christian parents to do something about this trend by pointing them to the help in raising children which is found in the Bible, particularly Deuteronomy 6. The principles found in Deuteronomy 6 are then discussed in chapters 2-8.
Chapter 2 looks at applying Deuteronomy 6:4 in our parenting by being committed to God and living lives that honour Him. Five ways in which we can do this (based on Ephesians 5:15-21) is by watching our walk (being good examples to our children); by being good stewards of the time (realising that we only get one chance to raise our kids); by understanding God’s Will (our children don’t belong to us, they belong to God so God’s Will for our children should be our top concern); by constantly yielding to God’s Spirit (which we do when we acknowledge God whenever we can); and by ordering our relationships by the book (which means making marriage the priority relationship in the home).
Onto Deuteronomy 6:5 in chapter 3, where the big principle is that if we learn to love God we will learn to love period. This requires us getting our definition of love right. The biblical definition of love is that love is an act of the will (it’s a choice) accompanied (not led) by emotion that leads to action (it’s proved by our efforts) on behalf of its object. This understanding of love is transferrable to all our relationships.
In chapter 4 looks at Deuteronomy 6:5 and the need for our children to do not only what God’s says but also to submit their will to the will of God. For this to happen, children need to be taught to think biblically because they act on what they believe. Five keys areas our children need to be taught to think biblically in is about God, man, truth, knowledge and ethics.
The focus of chapter 5 is the application of the first half Deuteronomy 6:7 and the need of getting our children into the word of God if we want our children to think biblically. As Baucham points out: “We must get our kids into the Word of God if we intend to get the Word of God into our kids.” The responsibility for doing this lies with the parents. “You can impact your child’s faith-life by reading and teaching the Bible at home. More importantly, God has entrusted and commissioned you (not the youth minister or the Sunday school teacher) with this awesome task.” Three ways in which we can do this is by firstly, simply reading the Bible to our children. Why? Because the Bible is the very Word of God; it’s God’s primary tool in preparing us for a life of godliness and service; it’s an agent by which God conforms us to the very image of Christ, and it’s a change agent. Secondly, by Q&A, spending time answering your children’s questions, and getting them to answer their own Bible questions. Then thirdly, by getting them to read books that will encourage the development of biblical faith.
Chapter 6 is all about applying the rest of Deuteronomy 6:7 and how we live the Word at home. Baucham lists 3 phases. Phase 1 is the discipline phase, the key aim of this phase is that children are taught to obey their parents, this means that they ‘do what they are told, when they are told, with a respectful attitude. Phase 2 is the catechism phase. “The goal of catechism is to impart biblical theology. Through a series of questions and answers the child slowly learns what to believe and, more importantly, why.” Then phase 3 is the discipleship phase which is about teaching children what to do with what they have learnt. “Discipleship is the application of what we believe. If our children do not know what we believe or why we believe it, they will have difficult time understanding why one lifestyle choice is superior to another.” At this point Baucham, discusses the part education plays in discipleship making the point that state education ‘detracts rather than contributes to discipleship…limits the time we have to make disciples…does not teach a biblical worldview…does not teach them to love, know and obey God.’ For him this is a good argument for Christian parents to home school their children rather than send them to state schools.
In Chapter 7 Baucham looks at some of the ways in which we can put Deuteronomy 6:9 into practice. Ideas include have pictures and photo’s up which would direct their focus to God, playing songs of the faith in the home, have a special meal on Sundays. But the prime way is family worship.
Then in chapter 8, a warning is given about the pull of prosperity and how that can draw families away from God, and parents away from their all-important of raising their kids. “God is not against your having things. He is, however, against things having you.” One of the concerns that Baucham has that both parents work fulltime not because they need to provide the essentials of life but so that they can be more prosperous and the effect this has on the raising of their children.
On the whole everything Baucham says in chapter 1-8 I would agree with and is very helpful. I appreciate his passion for parents taking responsibility for bringing their children up. I like the biblical definition of love that he gives. I agree that it is important for children to be taught a biblical worldview, and I think that he gives some helpful suggestions as to how this can be done. One thing I thought was missing was a discussion about whether we are to understand the passage in Deuteronomy 6 differently now that we are living under the New Covenant. Eric Lane explains in his book Special Children? that under the Old Covenant (when Deuteronomy 6 was written), children were brought up to live in a covenant community, whereas today, they are brought up under the New Covenant to live in the world. I think this plays a part in thinking about the arguments for homeschooling (although like Baucham I am a home school dad!)
In the final two chapters, the subject moves from the home to the church.
In chapter 9 the question is asked: ‘If the Bible clearly gives parents the responsibility of discipling their children, what role does the church play in the process?’ This leads him to question the need for churches to have a youth ministry for three reasons. 1) There is no clear biblical mandate for it. 2) It can damage family dynamics as split the family up at church. 3) In America it does seem to be working (referring back to what he said in chapter 1). Much of this is a reaction against parents who instead of discipling their children themselves, hand them over to the youth ministry to do this for them. Baucham however, does except that the strongest argument for having a youth ministry is providing for kids who don’t have Christian parents although he would rather they be in church noting that “When kids are disciple and integrated into the Christian community, they tend to remain in the fold.”
In chapter 10, Baucham then outlines that alternative way of doing church without the youth ministry which is the ‘family integrated church’. The distinctives of a family integrated churches are that families worship together; there are no age-specific groups; evangelism and discipleship is done through the homes with men being held accountable for this; and the majority of parents home school. The motivation behind these features is a keen desire to promote a biblical view of marriage and the family, family worship and discipleship, Christian education, and biblically qualified leadership.
Once again I agree with much of what Baucham is saying. I think his principles and motivation for saying what he does is spot on. That said, I don’t agree fully with his application! I believe that a youth (and kids) ministry can play an important function in working with and supporting parents as they seek with God’s help to raise their children. I too, believe that it is important for families to worship together. Three ways that the church I work for has tried to cultivate this is by firstly, having no age specific groups for children over 11 at the same time as our church services. Secondly, having a family service once a month (and school holidays) when there is no children groups during the service. Thirdly, by creating a culture where families sit together. In addition I also believe that a biblical view of marriage and the family, family worship and discipleship, Christian education and biblically qualified leadership can be promoted without adopting the family integrated approach to doing church.
To sum up: Family Driven Faith was a helpful and thought-provoking read. I’d recommend that parents and church leaders get a copy to read and think through what is said, even if they don’t agree with everything Baucham says (homeschooling and family integrated church with no youth ministry I think will be probably the two biggest areas of disagreement that some may have). Thank you Voddie Baucham Jr. for reminding me again about the need to do what it takes to raise children who walk with God.
Family Driven Faith is available to buy HERE.
For more to with Family Driven Faith, check out Voddie Baucham’s website HERE.
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